One year

La Veta, CO

Today, June 8th, marks one year since Lance passed. I wanted to take a moment  to remember the man that was, in my humble opinion, one of a kind. When I wonder if I am being biased, I am quickly reminded by any number of people that Lance truly was a unique individual. What consoles me when I think of Lance’s life being cut so short is he truly lived the life of five people combined. From the countless countries he traveled, to the volumes of books he read, to the mountains he skied or hiked, to the way he approached life with wonder and adventure, to the way he would embrace something and turn it into gold. It makes me feel less sad and instead, inspired and proud. Proud to have been blessed by someone with such an adventurous spirit, with so much life, so much pizazz.

Lance will always be a significant being in my life.  He is the father of my children. He was the boy I met on a hot May day in 1990 at a Grateful Dead show. When I feel sad, sad for myself, sad for my kids and sad for Lance, I run through the list of all the things Lance accomplished. How he lived so fully. How we should all be so brave to live a life without fear, with so much passion, so much wonder for the world and the guts to tackle anything. Lance- wherever you are, you inspire me and give me strength. The things that I used to be afraid of, I no longer fear, and I have you to thank for this gift of all gifts.

The kids and I are spending this day thinking of all our good memories of Lance. Reminiscing about all the times we had, and all the things we loved about him. How even though he is not with us in physical form, he will always be with us in spirit. As this one year anniversary is symbolic in many ways, I look at it as not only a time of reflection and remembrance but the beginning of a new chapter. Looking at it how Lance would…as one big adventure. Attempting to move on but never forgetting the husband, the father, the son, the entrepreneur, the friend, the traveler, the reader, the barefoot runner, the wonderful man that was Lance Gentry.


29 thoughts on “One year

  1. I was fortunate to be in an intimate circle of nine people today remembering our dear friend and what he showed us all. Laughing, crying, feeling thankful and missing him. Love, Paolo

  2. I appreciate the way you are offering of how to remember Lance. Again, just to show how mysterious the universe it, the other day I thought I saw Lance. I had not been thinking about him or Nancy, nor did I realize that the anniversary of his passing was approaching, yet there he was. He is in all of you that love him. Blessings to you, Nancy, and your beautiful kids.

  3. Nanygirl…
    I was going to send you a note today and had an expectation that we would hear from you.
    I have been thinking of you and the children and Lance of course, all week.
    Both of you have always been an inspiration… and how you both handled everything you faced the last few years absolutely changed my life. Honestly.
    I have been heartfully embracing one of the thoughtful encouragements Lance shared in a post: He urged us to embrace our Story… To guide it daily toward its telling in the end. It was a very deeply thoughtful post and it shook me to my core. And I am so thankful!
    And so grateful to have been included in your friendship, love and life journey together. I feel my own life’s daily expression is a legacy of yours and Lance’s fearless inspiration.
    Love you,

  4. Nancy, I am constantly amazed at your powers of self-expression and the depth of your love for Lance. He was as lucky to have you in his life as you were to have him in yours.

  5. Nance,
    Thinking of you, the kids, and Lance today. Can’t believe a whole year has gone by. His life definitely inspires me to follow my dreams. Sending tons of love your way!!!!

  6. Im wearing his shirt today. gave my kids hugs with lance today and many days. you are both an inspiration. I miss him, but smile thinking of him.

  7. Thank you for sharing your journey! Sending much love to you all and thinking of you today! So humbled by your grace! xo

  8. Every day I see what lance did for our son. He still has an impact on him and still influences him. I hope it never ends.

  9. Thinking of all of you today, and wishing you a coming year of adventures, love, and laughter. I’m sure that Lance is smiling down on his loveliest of families.

  10. Thinking of you all today. And as always, very beautifully said, Nancy. A very unique individual indeed.
    WE MISS you Lancey. xo

  11. Nancy
    Thank you for opening up your heart your life and the lives of your husband and best friend to share
    All of THIS with us!!
    It is us your friends and family who are blessed to have you Lance and the kids in our lives and that you shade your journey with us
    I am always learning from your post
    You inspire me you inspire us!!
    Thank you so so so so much !!
    Buckets of LOVE

  12. If we all have half the experiences Lance did, we’d feel happy and fulfilled. Love to you all, and big smooches to the kids.

  13. I love this post Nancy. We, Melanie, Mom and I, also spent the day remembering Lancelot. We Met Barb and her sisters Christy and Retta at the cemetary where Lance’s grandparents Cass and Edna, Aunt Sally and my dad are buried and had a picnic. There were candles, pictures of Lance and the Grateful Dead playing in the background. We shared our memories of your sweet husband and looked forward to next month when we can see you, Zach and Ami at the cottage. I send my love to you all. Linda

  14. Think of you often. You are amazing. I’m so glad you’re doing we’ll… We will boogie for Lance at Bluegrass.

  15. Dear Nancy,
    Thank you for sharing this beautiful letter here and letting us know about Lance and how special he was/ is… It really touched my heart and soul, and I am very grateful for also ‘getting to know him’ a tiny bit through your special words of love. It is so important to embrace every single moment of life, we never know what the next moment holds for us…. Thank you also for reminding me. I am very sad for you and the loss his (far too early) death means for you and your family, but at the same time I am very happy for you to have had such an amazing man in your life and still all his beauty and wisdom in your heart which will be with you forever. I am sending you and your kids much love.
    Yours, Anja
    P.S. In case you are wondering who I am: we met briefly a long, long time ago in some café in Soho/ nyc. I am a close friend of Jennifer and Jana.

  16. Thank you Nance for yet another wonderful reflection on all those things that are most important to us in life – love, family, adventure, joy, and even sadness. I’ve been thinking about Lance a lot lately and often feel his spirit around me. As with my mom, I feel like I can have conversations with him – knowing exactly what he would say to my random questions or thoughts. I’m sure he’s so happy to see you and the kids doing well a year after his passing. He taught us much. Lots of love,


  17. Nancy, Zach and Ami,
    It is so good to take a moment, slow down and remember our Lance. He will always be part of my summer-time memories, and more often brings a smile to my face when I see your names in my contact list! Be well, Larken

  18. Hi Nancy,

    I saw you and your kids walking down Pearl Street the other night (Friday?) I was going to say hello but never sure if you know me, etc. . . . Anyway, I just wanted to say that seeing the three of you walking together made me consider again everything you’ve been through and I just kind of felt like clapping for you, or bowing. I also had the weird sense that it wasn’t just the three of you – that Lance was not far off. So if it ever feels like the rest of the world is bumping along completely unaware of what a feat it is that the three of you are surviving and thriving, just remember that people you barely know are pulling for you, all the time.


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