I’ve had a lifelong fear of flying. It’s never prevented me from going anywhere but I am not saying I haven’t grabbed (or rather dug my nails) into the passengers arm next to me (okay usually Lance, sometimes Roxanna) during some scary turbulence. I sat next to a pilot on one of my flights back from Puerto Rico (poor him, yay for me) and quizzed him on everything from wind sheer to lightening to what the heck happened on that Air France flight from Brazil (I am like Rain Man with plane accidents). Then I asked him about his diet (as he pulled out  a baggie full of candy) and I told him he ate like crap. I think it was an enlightening experience for both of us….if I do say so myself.

But what it really got me to thinking about (something I have pondered a lot this year) is fear. I have spent a lot of energy of being afraid of flying and yet I’ve flown 100’s of flights and I’m still here. It’s the things that I never feared that have happened. I certainly wasn’t fearing a brain tumor. And since Lance was diagnosed I have had fewer fears than I have had in my life. I realized what a waste of energy those fears have been. Lots of expended energy and not a whole lot of return. I have really tried over this past year and a half to have trust in our process but be grateful for each day, knowing that fear is a head thing and that if I lead from my heart that the fear diminishes. I am not saying I am some master at this. I’M NOT. I just practice this daily because well, frankly I have to.

In fact these past couple months fear came up in a big way again. And I just wanted to yell “Go away! You are not helping the situation!” But then it was still there. And at times it’s been overwhelming, even paralyzing. Lately though, I’ve felt this feeling of moving beyond it again and I wanted to share what has been helping. One has been my continued meditation practice (ah yes, any chance I get I will encourage you to meditate…the cure for almost everything).

I would wake up with that dreaded feeling and drag myself out of bed and sit my tush on my cushion and slowly it would melt away. And meditating always helps me be present and then I realize when I’m in the moment, I am not afraid. So why waste my energy on fear? The pilot brought up a good point that fearful flyers are always anticipating for the big moment when the plane looses control. Ahh, that would be me!! But that’s not being in the moment now is it? I loved that pilot so much, that I gave him a list of books, movies, and food suggestions to help him change his and his family’s diet. 🙂

So recently I feel calm, knowing that we (Lance and I) have today and that’s all any of us know. It gives me a reprieve and makes me grateful for this day.

Doing my best to fear less,

Just a cute little picture of my family being in the moment...


Love and sprouts in Puerto Rico

Lance and I are eating a lot of sprouts in Puerto Rico at the moment. We are at the Ann Wigmore Institute: a grass roots, super intimate, wheat grass juicing, live foods type of place (based on the much fancier Hippocrates Institute near Palm Beach). I considered Puerto Rico fairly close until it ended up taking 3 planes and 14 hours to get here, ending in a beautiful flight across the island on a tiny 8 person plane. I had to make sure to get to know every one of the passengers before take off in case we were all going to die together. They thought I was being funny but I was actually serious. They turned out to be some groovy Puerto Ricans and we laughed the whole way to the west of the island. We landed safely 🙂 and I was thrilled to be in this luscious, humid place.

What has really drawn me to this place, is not only does it remind both Lance and I of our travels pre-kids (in India and other parts of Asia) but the people are so incredibly genuine, nurturing, loving, supportive and so extremely passionate about what they are doing!! Between the live foods diet (meaning nothing is cooked and everything is either sprouted, soaked, blended, or fermented), and the juicing, it is super educational as we attend classes on everything from wheat grass, to sprouting, to digestion, food combining, fermenting, composting, sugars, starches, dry skin brushing to more than I ever wanted to know about the colon. Every single thing we eat is grown right here.

82 year old Leola. Lance's new girlfriend.

What I love about this place, is even though they are teaching this “live foods” diet, they are constantly reminding you of the importance of taking care of yourself: body, mind and spirit. That is right up my alley! In all these classes they are always genuinely mentioning that more important than even the food (which is what they are all about) is love: loving yourself, loving each other, love, love, love. These people are all heart. There is the sweetest and smiliest woman here who is 82 and has been apart of the institute since 1990 and says she is “having more fun than she has ever had in her life.”

Energy Soup. 80% sprouts..breakfast, lunch, dinner

We are doing a cleanse for the next 3 days (“energy soup”). I confess I have never done a cleanse. In fact I am thinking I am horrible at it and we haven’t even started. I don’t like to be hungry and so all day today I have been sneaking extra food every chance I get. It’s like I wanted to store up before the big hibernation. (I know it’s not that long of a cleanse but it is to me!).

I am going to post one or two more times this week with more pics and stories in case you want to check out the blog again this week. I won’t send out a mass email. Oh and please comment on the blog instead of replying to my email. Lance doesn’t like me to crowd his inbox with emails but loves reading your comments.

Oh and forget HBT, we are HBE here in P.R. (that would be eight not eleven).

Love, love, love,


I know at least one friend is going to smile when she sees this topic. Her dad coined the term “HBT” or Horizontal By Ten. I know you all know this but I think it’s something we all need to be reminded of…including me. As Lance watches me doing circles around the bedroom (so patient, my man), he often wonders, “will she ever get in bed?!”

I can’t tell you what exactly I am doing but I often find myself diddle dallying and suddenly it’s 10:45 and I am annoyed at myself. It’s a constant balance for me and when I do succeed at getting HBT I feel so much better the next day because it is actually a fact, that almost ALL humans get a second wind after 10:30 at night. I’ve heard people say, “I just get so much energy at night.” Actually you are not alone. If you are staying up past 10:30, that’s pretty normal and makes it a lot harder to wind down. Also, research shows the sleep you get before midnight is actually your most restful sleep of the night. A night owl’s sleep is much less rejuvenating.

Instead of listing all the benefits of sleep, I wanted to tell you a story that I found particularly fascinating. A friend of mine has been dealing with arthritis for years and years. She has kept her head high but all of us have seen the inflammation and knew the pain she was in. She tried it all from western to eastern but relief wasn’t coming easily. The other day, we were talking about the importance of getting in bed early. This friend is a self proclaimed night owl. She said for the first time in her life she was really working on getting to bed earlier. What really amazed me was she said for the first time in 3 1/2 years she was symptom free. So I hope that is enough to express the importance of sleep and being horizontal by ten.